about:stuff

If you were entertained at all by any Chuch Norris Facts (Google it if you’ve been under a rock and never seen it) then this collection of facts in regards to the recent 8 time Beijing gold medal winner  Obama VP savior of the free world Michael Phelps (Google it if you’ve been under a rock and have never heard of him) should be amusing.

Instead of transposing absolutely every single one, I’ve just including my favorites. If you want to see the entire thing you can read the entire post. Special thanks to the original author, whoever he is. (pops)

• Shamu is free to leave SeaWorld at anytime, but refuses to go back into open water due to a gambling debt in which he owes Michael Phelps $20.
• Fertile females are not allowed in the pool after Phelps until the water has been boiled for twenty minutes.
• A Michael Phelps flip-turn is the only phenomenon in the universe capable of canceling out the force of a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
• Michael Phelps’ sperm can swim so well, they impregnated a woman who gave him a BJ.
• Michael Phelps is the orca’s only known predator in the water.
• Michael Phelps has swum through Atlantis, but he’s keeping it a secret because its the only place with more gold medals than him
• Michael Phelps once swam all the way to Gilligan’s Island just to have a threesome with Mary Ann and Ginger. He departed the next morning, taking only Bob Denver’s career with him.
• You only see Michael Phelps’ mother on TV because his father was Poseidon.

(continue reading…)