about:stuff

Yesterday there were reports coming in of Jason Statham beating a homeless man nearly to death after an altercation yesterday afternoon. I believe all misunderstandings were forgiven when it was learned that the bum asked Jason if he could spare any change.

Then this happened:

This past weekend was excellent. I had a 3 day weekend and did as little as possible. Part of that time was spent on my ass in front of the TV. During a commercial break I actually ceased all activity around me as the trailer for Transporter 3 came on. My complete lack of excitement was forshadowed by the sheer brilliance that is the Jason Statham marketing machine and their ability to turn the exact same movie into a completely new movie. But this time those writers (who rival those retards behind the shit-riddled ‘Date/Epic/Disaster Movie’ line) pulled out the big guns. A location sensitive BOMB. Oh my goodness gracious! Alright, let’s run down the craptasticular checklist for Transporter movies:

• Car chases
• Hand to hand combat
• Hot female interest
• Sinister enemy
• Airborn-ness

Now they’ve introduced a new element to keep it fresh. If Statham goes beyond 75 feet from his car, it blows up? He blows up? Both? Oh noez!

I hope he’ll be able to figure out how to get out of it. And defeat the evil doers. And make out with the hot female interest. For those of you interested in Statham, or this movie and you reached this site by mistake (Statham-related traffic has increased since the trailer has come out) it will be arriving to theaters like a bag of lit dogshit on your doorstep November 26th.

To kick off the beginnigns of the Jason Statham Sucks page, below is a photo listing for him at IMDB (pops):

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Who wouldn’t?

Nevertheless, this is a quote from Jason Statham to the LA Times during the San Diego Comic Con. Of course Frank Miller was on scene to back Statham’s feelings about donning the devil red costume and becoming Matt Murdoch. I, on the other hand, am not so convinced. Given the track record of the first one (starring Affleck and Jen Garner) and the Elektra spinoff (starring Garner) there isn’t alot in the air for possible disappointment.

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The beautiful thing about these is they aren’t inside jokes, which I’m frequently burdened with having. Unfortunately I accidentally deleted my pic folder in a finger slip, mis-highlighted type of end user error the other day. I shift + deleted it too from which there is no turning back, so it’s going to take time to scour the internet for my collective amateur works. (Both items open to their full versions in a new window)

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