about:stuff

History and pop culture is laden with dynamic duos. Duos who are seem incomplete when paired off separately. From Batman & Robin, to Abbott & Costello to Tits & Ass, no duo is really 100% whole without the sum of all its parts. The ampersand symbol itself was probably brought mainstream by its duo use alone! The point is somethings just go together, like, well like peanut butter & jelly. It is with this archaic tandem in mind that I bring to you, the masses, a grand idea for another timeless pairing…

The idea came to me in a firestorm of a dilemma, the craving for my favorite consumable beverage: strawberry milk. Now this by itself is no cause for alarm but in the wee hours of the morning it’s just not going to cut the mustard. Most of the time I have to opt out for something more traditional, like coffee. Blech. Summer time is just a mere heat stroke away and coffee when I’m already uncomfortably warm is borderline at best. My other options are energy drinks but these all taste like ass, so do most sodas for that matter.

But wait!

What if by some sheer Frankensteinian formula someone was able to reproduce the sweet pink taste of strawberry milk with the kick of an energy drink? Why not say the king of energy drinks currently: Red Bull? Both are sold just a few doors away from each other in the convenience store! They’re both begging to hook up and have that ass-kicking lovechild that has the best built in brand name already attached to it: Bull Milk.

Mull that over for a bit. Gargle that in the throat of your mind for a second. Swish that around until it froths up with tasty pink bubbles for a moment. The marketing is practically there already. Piggybacking off the ‘got milk?’ ad campaign alone would blast the public with it’s forceful imagery. I see a mental collage of famous people with pink mustaches, breast cancer awareness marketing pumping vigorous amounts of cash into it, and a happy man who has another choice in his mornings or anytime.

Bull Milk
The taste of a cow with the kick of a bull
Charging its way to storefronts near you!